Tere!

Until around August, 2023, I had told people who have been close to me that I was planning to leave Estonia in or by 2024, and yet in September, 2023 I changed my mind that I had had since I graduated. However, why did I change my mind when I was almost making it come true? This time I will reveal this story.

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Table of Contents

     1. Why Did I Want To Leave That A Lot?
          1.1. Inconvenience
          1.2. November and February
          1.3. No Fulfilment for Some Reason
     2. Reasons Why I Decided To Stay in Estonia Longer
          2.1. I Noticed How More Grateful I Had Been to People Around Me
          2.2. Changing Career Was Too Hard
          2.3. Convenience in Estonia
          2.4. Advantages in an Inconvenient Life
     ★Summary

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1. Why Did I Want To Leave That A Lot?

First, let me talk about why I wanted to leave Estonia.

1.1. Inconvenience

Estonia is very inconvenient. A delivery fee from Amazon Germany costs quite a lot albeit it’s not easy to find something reasonable in Estonia. When it comes to personal parcels from Japan, (probably) owing to COVID (and the Ukrainian war), we still have only three options: EMS, by air and by ship. SAL – the most reasonable option with less amount of time – is not re-available yet as of 2023. Plus, as Tallinn Airport raised tax to airlines, we have less flight availability by Ryanair. (However, airBaltic is doing rather well with more routes.)

1.2. November and February

November is the most depressive month whilst February is the most dangerous month because February, in Estonia which is relatively humid in Europe, is the time for both preparation for spring and the remaining coldness, which results in making icy roads! Almost every year I get my ankle sprained, for whom February is a month of fear! The 24th of February is Estonia’s Independence Day and around this date it’s most dangerous! I’d request the Estonian government to ban commuting to offices in February. 😂 We should work safely at home (though it’s not my business anymore as a freelancer. 😂) By the way, you can still survive in November with sufficient preparation and prevention. The hacks are to start taking vitamin D 4000 IU from September and proactively get sunlight!

1.3. No Fulfilment for Some Reason

This reason is unreasonable and I feel sorry for the Estonians, and yet I couldn’t feel fulfilment, being in Estonia. I was like “It’s not so fun to be in Estonia”. This is probably because Estonia has little entertainment.

These three reasons above are that I had wanted to leave Estonia for three years, but then why did I choose to stay (or at least postpone staying) in Estonia when the third quarter of the year 2023 was about to finish? I also have a few reasons for this.

2. Reasons Why I Decided To Stay in Estonia Longer

2.1. I Noticed How More Grateful I Had Been to People Around Me

One day, I invited two of my university friends to my place and cooked for them as they had always helped me with my CVs and portfolios. I cooked 0.5kg of chicken thigh as well as three cups of rice, which were almost completely gone. They said my meal was good, and ate nearly everything, which made me so happy and think. “Isn’t it absurd to leave friends who are happy with what I cooked and have always helped me, and move to somewhere I don’t know anyone? Don’t I need to be so hard on myself?” I guess they are the biggest reason. Besides them, I am grateful for my life support who has helped me since I was trying to recover from depression, helped me with my Estonian learning, explained to me how to take care of a chinchilla, and told me where in Estonia I could buy something I was specifically looking for, my previous colleague who reconnected with me regardless I had completely forgot about him for two years, and another university friend who I still communicate with, meet once in a while and loves a tote bag as a souvenir from Japan (with illustration of an anti-mosquito). “Do I need to make extra effort by myself being away from such amazing people from the beginning? Nope.” I thought.

2.2. Changing Career Was Too Hard

From July 2023 till September 2023, I had taken a UX course, aiming to change my career. However, in 2023 the overall Estonian labour market seemed to be worse than before. Considering volunteers as well as internships, companies prioritise colleague students, so those appeared to be difficult options. Thus, instead of changing career asap and leaving Estonia, I thought it might be a good idea to work on freelance entry-level UX-design-related jobs.

2.3. Convenience in Estonia

You probably thought “That’s completely opposite!” It’s, in fact, not opposite. Here what I mean by “convenience” is situations with the use of my Estonian ID card, for instance, banking and prescriptions. (I personally believe these two are particularly convenient.) I wondered “If I left Estonia and started living in another country. I would miss this convenient system.” Plus, my long-term thought that “Estonia is okay. No matter how long I live here, my second hometown remains as Ireland where I studied as an exchange student” had changed. It was like: wait…I actually like Estonia….! 😂

I know my reason is too realistic or non-dreamy at all, but since I noticed this, I have thought “Not Ireland anymore but Estonia has become my second hometown…”

2.4. Advantages in an Inconvenient Life

Sorry for the locals again, but I realised how grateful I was by feeling “this is inconvenient, that is annoying in Estonia”. (This is a complement.)

For example, the other day I published an article, revealing that I travelled to 10 countries in 2023. In Gothenburg, which was one of the destinations, you can have tantanmen with thin noodles. I love it! But if I could have the same one in Estonia, I wouldn’t think “I’d murder tantanmen!” as a non-ramen fan, or I wouldn’t think “This is so good!!!” in Gothenburg. Also, everywhere has tedious scenery in Estonia, and this is why I’ve travelled a lot, which is still inconvenient. However, probably because Estonia is like this. I feel “I want to go there again (in the world),” I think.

Just like if I could buy more Japanese products in Estonia, it’s convenient, but I feel much happier when my mum or friends send me a package from Japan.

I thought there is happiness that comes from insufficiency.

★Summary

Funny, isn’t it? Strictly speaking, I have more relevant stories, but I won’t be able to summarise them if I write them here. Based on this decision, there is also something further, which I will talk about in another article another day. By the way, though I decided to continue staying in Estonia, it does not necessarily mean permanent. Maybe I say “Ah! Estonia is still unbearable!” in one year, maybe I will have lived here for decades.

To conclude, I hope you will keep enjoying my blog posts!

Aitäh! 🍊